The Least Deserving Best Picture Nominees
February 10, 2012
With the recent Best Picture
nomination for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, a movie which had been critically savaged up until the nominations were announced, it
seems like a good time to reflect on some of Oscars worst nominations in its
most prestigious category. Now, let me qualify my list first by saying that -
although I have seen all the Best Picture winners - I
have not seen every Best Picture nominee, so the list is a little front-loaded.
But seriously, who among us has seen The Smiling
Lieutenant, The Lives of a Bengal
Lancer, or Anthony
Adverse?
Exactly.
Love Story – Remember
that Seinfeld episode where Elaine goes to see The
English Patient and keeps yelling “just DIE
ALREADY” at
the screen? You now know what it was like to be in the room with me during my
viewing of Love Story. How anyone could care about this movie centered around two of the
most annoying people on the face of the planet is beyond
me.
Doctor Dolittle – I was
shocked to even learn that this movie had been nominated for Best Picture as it
has been remembered so harshly by critics and audiences alike. Sure, Rex
Harrison was fresh off his My Fair Lady success and it was the 60s, when
musicals were king, but this movie was so terrible it was one of the
contributing factors to the demise
of the whole genre.
Scent of a Woman – Hoo aaah!
Hoo Bingo! The fact that this movie was nominated makes me want to take a FLAME
THROWER to the academy. Aside from the unbelievable over-acting and pathetically
transparent plot, Scent of a Woman features some of the most ridiculous lines
ever written. And it tastes like Albany. If you remember liking this movie,
please… watch it again and gape in horror.
Mystic River – You had to
know we wouldn’t escape without any mention of Eastwood, right? Now, I wasn’t
always an Eastwood hater. Mystic
River made me one. When it came out, it got mostly mixed reviews, but – as
is often the case with Eastwood films – as awards season drew nearer, the tide
started turning and the praise kept growing. I went out to see it after it was
nominated so I could make up my own mind and was shocked. Actors I admired were
either wooden or waaaaay overacting, the script was plodding and the direction
was so non-existent that the film barely even
registered.
The Godfather Part 3 – I’m not an
enormous fan of the first two Godfather films, but I have enormous respect for
them still the same, but … no…. I’m sorry. I can’t even discuss this one
rationally. It’s is unbelievable how much Part 3 sucks. Killer Cannoli! Joey
Zaza! Kissin’ Cousins! Diabetic Seizures! George Hamilton! It’s shocking what
Coppola did to his legacy in one terrible, hysterical
movie.
The Greatest Show on Earth – Oh Lord, not
only did this absurd movie get nominated, it actually WON. With characters like
Buttons – a clown with a
secret – and dialogue like, “You
have sawdust in your veins” it’s easy to see why this is almost successful as a
margarita movie. But at two and a half hours, it puts
even the most die-hard fan of bad movies to the test. It’s just a bloated
travesty filled with clown cameos. So many clown
cameos.
Working Girl – Nothing is
so awful about Working Girl, but is that what you really want from a potential
“Best Picture?” Harrison Ford
seriously carries the whole she-bang with his charm in overdrive, but even
that can’t elevate this slight piece of fluff to a film worthy of being
recognized as one of the best anythings of any year.
Dishonorable mentions:
The Towering Inferno, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Blind
Side, The Green Mile, Crash, The
Reader, The Cider House Rules
Posted by Oscar Nazi. Posted In : oscars
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